A Different Take on Trust

Trust

As I write this I am sitting in the backseat of a Toyota listening to the Beatles with three Slovenians who I don’t know. I am hitchhiking! The couple in the front told me their names, but I just nodded and smiled. Don, a fellow hitchhiker, is in the back with me.  They all seem like very nice people. We are 1.5 hours into a 6 hour drive from Ljubljana, Slovenia to Split, Croatia.

The idea of a different kind of trust popped into my mind because: I obviously don’t know these people and I am “trusting” everything will be great. I didn’t even arrange this modern day hitch hike. My Airbnb host, Meta, knew of a forum where Slovenians post long drives and offer rides to people for a small fee. It is like craigslist for travelers. As “luck” would have it: instantly we found a someone leaving from a nearby town this afternoon and heading directly to my destination tonight. Meta texted the driver, set up my exchange, drove me to the meeting point, handed me over to the guy in the Toyota, and we were off. It seemed simple and fun.

Now, almost two hours into the journey, I smiled when I realized how present and trusting I have been: with my host; with my crew in the Toyota; with humanity; with everything. Not once did I wonder or worry. It all just felt really right. I’m enjoying my new friends even though I have no idea what they are chatting about. They are good, kind, and loving people, it’s obvious.

To me, this is more than “trust.” It is a way of living that changes everything. It isn’t being lackadaisical. Instead, it is following an instinctive wisdom we all have while being fully present, yet certain of an impeccable future.

Here is my different take on trust:

Trust to me is a unicorn. It’s made up. Trust to one person can be completely different to another. Your personal characterization of trust can shift and change. Trust is not a truth, it’s a human construct.

On the other hand, there is something special that is like trust, but so much more profound.  It occurs through the combination of presence and knowing everything will always be ok. The synergistic effect of presence and knowing all will be ok is so much greater than if either of the two were held separately. This “something special” is deeper and wider than “trust” could ever encompass. It has a different feel: it is the soft embrace of a peace that opens up endless possibilities for love, joy, and a life well lived. What is available in this space is sweeter than our wildest dreams.

Let’s dive deeper into two components of this special space

Presence:

  • In this very moment, is everything ok? I’m not asking about today or the last five minutes. Instead, this very moment. Now. This millisecond. And this millisecond, and this one, and this one. Even if you are having a bad day or month, usually in this very instant everything is fine and dandy.
  • Where are you? Mentally, are you fully present with where you are, with what you are doing, and/or the people you are with? Are you in the Now? When we are completely present there is stillness and peace that breeds joy, love, and a beautiful feeling of aliveness. The more time we spend in the present, the deeper these feelings become and the more alive and receptive we are.

Knowing everything will always be ok:

If you knew with certainty that everything will be ok, no matter what happens, what might that change?

There may be moments where things seem not ok, but sometime later we can look back and see how those instances shaped our lives and we are still ok. Everything will always be ok. In this article I discussed something similar from a different angle: Everything that has happened since the beginning of time happened just as it did and has lead up to you reading this very sentence, right now.  Everything. We can say the same about every instance the rest of our lives. In each instant (each now) things are ok. Everything will always be ok.

Knowing everything will always be ok relates to presence because in this state of mind, there is never a reason to worry about the future. Being fully present changes everything. I now fully understand everything will always be ok and this has changed everything. There are many moments when I forget this, but as soon as I remember again, I come back to the stillness where joy, love, and peace abound. This is where possibility and unlimited creativity live, where aliveness like no other takes center stage.

Instant Update

From the hitchhiking event in which I am writing this blog:

Now the Toyota is making a constant beeping noise… clearly it is alerting us to something. My three new friends are discussing what is happening. I am curious, but not worried at all. With a huge smile, the woman in the front turns around and shares in a thick accent: “No gas, but it’s ok.”

To which I instantly and gregariously reply: “Great!  I love living on the edge!”

Now they all are laughing… I am too.

We made it to a gas station in time, but if we hadn’t it still would have been perfect.

In Summary

We don’t have to live on the edge all of the time, but when we live in the present moment and have no fear about the future, we give ourselves the opportunity to truly live. The secret to this is living more and more in the present moment and being at ease with yourself when you aren’t. The past has come and gone—leave it where it is. The future is bright, and it will come to us whether we worry daily or not. Life can only be lived right now.

Sure, you’ll shift back and forth, in and out of presence. As soon as you notice you aren’t present, you immediately are. Do this enough and soon presence will be your predominate state: a place where you come alive and anything is possible.

Try it on, practice living right now and being fully alive. More and more I am living in this space and I’ve never felt more at peace, open, and full of love. It’s there waiting for you too.

 

Until the next revolution…

 

PS: I’ve had (and have) amazing mentors and coaches who have helped me deeply understand all of this. Without them, I would not be in where I am today… I may have eventually gotten there on my own, but I am so thankful to have had the guidance and support that has allowed me to be on this amazing journey with a depth and breadth surely not possible otherwise. I want to be that for you. If you are interested, lets chat.

 

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