What might be possible if you unpredicted your journey?

Many people wonder what that means. Simply put it means being open to all possibilities and not trying to forecast where you might be in the future or how you will get there. I keep thinking I understand fully the ins and outs of living like this and then life shows me how much more there is to let go of… and how magical it gets when I do.

Last week a friend admiringly shared with me that he was so proud of me for living life outside of societal norms. That is the first time I heard my life described like that and I guess it fits, although that’s not my aim. I have no aim other than to live in the moment and be open to the flow of life.  I wonder what the world would be like if being guided through life by life became the norm?

There is a richness and an indescribable fullness that surfaces when we let life live us. ‘Coddiwomple’ is the word I use to describe living fully immersed with the flow of life. Coddiwompling is letting go of all the thoughts and judgements of how we think life should unfold and instead living fully in each moment.

A Story of Coddiwompling

I had dinner with a high school classmate whose hero is his mom. He described how his mom escaped Vietnam and arrived in Tallahassee, Florida with pretty much nothing but her five young children. She was a single mother who spoke broken English and didn’t have a job, money or a place to live. On her first night in town she found shelter for her family in an abandoned church, went to sleep and woke up the next morning knowing she had to find a way to provide. She left her kids and hopped on the first city bus that came by.

She got off the bus at what happened to be the Florida State Capitol Building. She noticed there were many well-dressed people carrying brief cases that looked very successful. She walked up to a gentleman in a business suit and in broken English asked him how he got to where he is in life. He shared with her that it was through education: studying, going to university and doing very well in school. She thanked him and caught the next bus.

A few stops later she got off the bus again. This time she was at a small strip mall. As she was walking along she passed a laundromat with a ‘For Sale’ sign in the window. She went in and asked questions about owning and running a laundromat. Just across the street was a local bank. She walked in the bank to ask questions and learn about loans. Then she went back to the abandoned church where her five children were.

Long story short, here is what happened: Yen Le was given a loan by the bank she visited that day, bought the same laundromat she saw at the second place she got off the bus, and aimed to help her kids get the best education possible (just like the man in the suit carrying a briefcase).

She owned and ran the laundromat by herself for over thirty years and was loved and adored by her customers and the community. Mamma Le (as her patrons called her) put her heart and soul into helping her customers in unique ways while providing for her family. There were many stories of customers coming back decades later to thank Mamma Le for her love and kindness. Even NFL stars who she helped with their laundry and with life (when they were university students) came back specifically to let Mamma Le know how much she meant to them.

Her five kids were not allowed to help at the laundromat. Each time one of them tried to lend a hand, she would tell them that they had two jobs: to study and sleep.

All of her children have thrived.

When Mamma Le woke up that first morning in an abandoned church in a foreign country she had no idea what do. What she did know was: she wanted to raise her five kids and give them an opportunity to thrive. She coddiwompled. She let life live her and took a bus ride. She unpredicted her journey and little did she know that ride would provide the fertile ground for her and her family to have lives she couldn’t have dreamed of.

UnReal Limitation

We often limit ourselves to a very small world: ‘our’ world, which is usually confined within the boundaries of our memories and imagination (our thoughts). We live inside make-believe limits of what we think is possible, what we think we can create, and what we believe to be true. What’s even crazier is that the chatter in our own head creates this confined reality. Have you ever considered how much energy and creativity could be unleashed inside of you if you never again worried about the future or stressed about your circumstances?

I hadn’t considered this either. Though when I began exploring who I really was and how powerful Thought is, life opened up. The more I let go and unpredict my journey the more simple and fun life becomes. The less I try to figure things out, the more success abounds. Through letting go of any preconceived notion of how my life journey should be, the unimaginable is given the space to flourish.  I often sit in awe at what life continually provides.

Most have heard the saying “go with the flow.” I used to think this was the best way to enjoy life. Now I can see that this isn’t true. We don’t need to go with the flow, we are the flow. Life is like a beautiful river, sometimes gently flowing, sometimes gushing over rocks, and sometimes bursting forth and pouring over massive waterfalls. Through it all, the water that the river is made of is just fine. The river is perfect in every state.

We are the flow, we are the river and we are on the ride of our lives. The only thing that keeps us from enjoying the river of life is the chatter of our thinking and worry. When we surrender to the river, realize we are the flow, know it will always work out (even when we have no idea what “work out” means): it’s a beautiful and exciting ride.

Just ask Mamma Le: She unpredicted her journey and has experienced the unbelievable effect of coddiwompling. She is a natural coddiwompler, just as we all are.

Unpredict your journey, my friends.

Here is a one minute video about Mamma Le’s youngest son, Phuong (my high school classmate and friend):

 

Understanding the Human Mind International Conference, 12-13 June 2019, Bucharest Romania:

On June 13th I’ll be the final speaker at the Understanding the Human Mind Conference in Bucharest Romania. There will be fifteen amazing presenters all pointing to a deeper understanding of the mind. Come join in, I am looking forward to sharing and going in to more depth on the topic of “Unpredicting Your Future.”

 

Let’s See More Together

When I really considered the life that is possible for each of us individually, I realized one of the best ways to see this is together. There is so much more for each of us to see… so very much. The best part is: what’s available is right here already, we just haven’t seen it yet. When we understand how our mind works and how life works, everything gets simple and amazingly beautiful.

Let’s take a walk together. Come join me and fellow explorers in a radically different (yet simple) ten week exploration that will change everything.

We begin August 20th and the cost is $99.

The first program sold out and the group members have seen and experienced so much together. Might it be the perfect time to Unpredict Your Journey?

Check it out here: Coddiwomple Now Group Program

Unpredict Your Journey

 

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Life has changed. Better put: My understanding of life has changed and my experience will never be the same. Life just is and it always has been. Everything can be the Ultimate Coddiwomple… What might yours be?

Tomorrow I am flying to Prague, Czech Republic. Crazy as it sounds: very early this morning I arrived in Los Angeles after flying from Mexico City overnight. I landed, took a nap, woke up, worked, met my mentor for lunch to chat about a project, and then went back to his house for an afternoon of conversations. He’s a big reason why I’m in Los Angeles for a day… and that statement will make much more sense in a few paragraphs.

During our conversations today I mentioned that I wanted to make a short video, but haven’t. He made tea for me and his wife, and then we went to his office where he sat me in front of his computer. I had no clue what I would say. In less than a minute he set up my makeshift studio. Then he knelt on the floor next to me (just out of view) and clicked the mouse to start the recording. I opened my mouth and words miraculously came out. We did three takes, each time he stood up, gave feedback, and then took his place on the floor next to me while I shot another video.

This man has changed many lives, he’s changed my life, and there he was on the floor. Minutes later he received an email that his latest Ted Talk had been released on YouTube. After we finished our chat, I asked him if he’d like to watch it… of course he did. So there we sat, watching the talk he gave in Switzerland in December. I was with him live at the Ted event and it touched me deeply then. This time, I deeply enjoyed watching him take it all in.

While sitting there next to him, I wondered: How the heck did I get here?

On July 30, 2016 I purchased a book (The Inside-Out Revolution) after my coach suggested it. Little did I know what a pivotal moment that was. Just over a day later I finished the book and on the next day, August 1st 2016 my whole world changed in an instant. I’ll never forget the moment everything shifted. My heart raced (sustained at 120 beats per minute for 20+ minutes while sitting in my office). I couldn’t concentrate: I had understood something huge and my life would forever be changed. A few weeks later I googled “Michael Neill” to see who this dude was that wrote the book.

Just 2.5 years later here I am, sitting next to him… watching Michael watch his gorgeous Ted Talk. The man who only minutes before was kneeling on the floor helping me. The talk finished, I felt proud of my friend and delighted for him. I asked if I could take his dogs for a walk. I love his dogs as if they are my own. Pepper, Lily and I headed out on a long walk.

During our earlier chat, one of the topics Michael and I discussed was feelings and emotions. I’m feeling so much more nowadays than I have in the previous three decades. While out on the walk watching Lily and Pepper play and taking in the views from atop the Santa Monica Mountains, emotions were aplenty. Love washed through me and a few tears streamed down my face. Sometimes life seems like a fairy tale. More and more life seems like a fairy tale all the time.

The dogs and I headed back down in to Michael’s neighborhood. Dinner was almost ready when we got back. Nina, Michael and I ate and chatted. Michael cleared the table and did dishes while Nina and I gabbed on. Words of congrats and love about his Ted Talk arrived via the internet. Nina hadn’t seen the video yet, so she brought it up on her phone and the three of us watched it together at the dinner table. Now I’m watching them watching the Ted Talk: hand in hand and full of love. **After you watch the Ted Talk, you’ll know why this is even more special than it seems.

How did I get here? It makes no sense and then perfect sense, but mostly it makes no sense.

The day I clicked the “Buy Now” button for Michael’s book seems like a lifetime ago. In my wildest dreams I could not have fathomed the journey between flipping that book open and reading the first word to casually sitting here hanging out with two special friends. If I could take a screen shot of life right now and go back in time to show it to myself the instant I read that first page… what would I have thought? Probably: How???

Truth Is: There is no explanation.

Fast forward one day ahead to present time: In this instant I am on the first leg of my flight, headed for Paris, France and proofreading this blog. Tears are forming again as I am remembering all the things I’ve experienced in just two years, a lifetime of experiences. I’m realizing all the things I’ve seen, an indescribably epoch expanse of seeing. Such deep gratefulness runs through and through for friendships with beautiful souls around the world, experiences of love, occurrences I can’t yet describe, and a depth of understanding about life… All unimaginable. I am tempted to say it began with the turning of one page, but it didn’t. It began long before, in the infinite beginning.

What if everything is a Coddiwomple, but we just don’t know it?

What do you really want to do?

Go do that.

What if you sat in a space of love and gratefulness for a moment, then went and did exactly what your heart guided you to do for the next three minutes. What if you just did that? What if you really gave yourself the freedom to just be? What might become of those three minutes? What might become of you?

What if you continued doing that over and over again for forever?

What if your will and God’s will are the same? What if there is no difference? (Substitute any word you wish instead of “God”: The Universe, Wisdom, Love, Creator, or anything… it’s a word to describe the indescribable.) To me that statement doesn’t feel heavy at all. It’s a simple reality.

Another way to express the same sentiment: Our heart’s desire is pointing to our Ultimate Coddiwomple. Go. It’s simpler than you think, totally ordinary, and magnificently extraordinary all at the same time.

What are you waiting for?

Coddiwomple Now 🙂

 

If you are curious, here’s the three minute video we made yesterday: Coddiwomple Now

One of the sweetest parts of the video is in the last 30 seconds. In the lower left corner, notice the top of Michael’s head as he’s peering around. What a guide. What a servant’s heart. What a friend.

 

Here is Michael’s Ted Talk. Please do yourself (and the world) a favor and watch/share this: Can a Ted Talk Really Change the World? (I don’t want to spoil it for you, but… Yes, it can!)

 

 

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While on a long hike to a monarch butterfly breading ground in the mountains of south central Mexico there was so much seen beyond the beautiful butterflies. From a profound Truth expressed by an eleven year old, to an experience of seeing everything (and realizing I’ve been trying way too hard), to really seeing how much we have in common with (and can learn from) monarchs.

Our Walk

We arrived high up in the mountains and began our walk. The air was crisp and cold, the scenery was beautiful, and the silence of the woods was sprinkled with the delightful chirping and chattering of birds. As we walked up and into the thick mountain forest, our local guide shared with us that three weeks ago the monarchs had begun to head north on their migration to Canada and there weren’t many butterflies left. We continued on.

As we hiked higher the wind blew through the trees in such a way that it sounded like waterfalls coming and going. The walk was wonderful, but even as we walked deeper in to the forest we didn’t see a single butterfly. My friend was apologetic. She felt bad that that we had missed seeing the masses of monarchs. Instantly, her eleven year old son shared so sweetly that it’s not about the destination, but the journey. I smiled. To me it seemed like the whole world smiled when my young sweet friend shared that Truth… from the mouths of babes. Yes! It was perfect. We continued on.

The First Glimpses

We stopped to take a rest on a cliff-side perch overlooking treetops, a valley far below, and more mountains peaks in the distance. That’s when I looked up and saw occasional tiny silhouettes of fluttering butterflies against the blue sky: the stragglers and late bloomers of the monarch world. They were beautiful. Lying on my back on a massive rock outcropping surrounded by friends, looking up at the blue sky dotted with fluttering monarchs was bliss. “This is more than enough,” I thought as I enjoyed what I presumed to be the pinnacle of the day. After a long rest on the rock, we continued on.

We walked to the top of the mountain and then followed our guide steeply down for a quite a ways. While slipping and sliding on narrow trails with grapefruit sized rocks rolling under our feet, I wondered where she was taking us. After a few miles we came to a flat area. Our guide asked us to stop talking and be as quiet as possible. The deeper we walked in to the thick forest, the more the forest came alive. In the gaps between the trees, the blue sky was full of life and the fluttering of tiny butterflies. We continued on.

Soon there were branches of tall pines drooping low with the weight of hundreds of butterflies: unbelievable! There were monarchs almost everywhere I looked!

Not Looking

Then it happened: I stopped to take in the silence and the bliss of this place. My vision softened and without realizing it, I was looking at nothing and saw everything. The instant I stopped focussing, the entire forest came alive. Everything came alive. In every fragment of my visual field were flutters… I could see thousands of butterflies all at once. It truly was pure butterfly bliss.

After a few seconds, without realizing it, my vision closed in. It was almost as if I could hear my gaze tighten (imagine the sound in a sci-fi movie when a laser focuses). I was now focusing on one area of butterflies in the sky and all the others vanished. I was back to seeing as I normally saw. Each place I looked I could see the butterflies in that specific area, but no longer could I see everything. The forest no longer seemed alive. Hmmm…. Wow. What an interesting experience.

Seeing Everything

I wanted to see all of it again. So, purposefully this time, I let my vision soften (like a blank stare). Wooosh! There it was again: My entire field of vision full and the entire forest abuzz with the flutters of life. Every inch of my visual field was alive with monarchs. I could see it all. The experience was utterly beautiful and mind-blowing.

Like a kid with a new toy I stood in the forest looking and then not looking, looking and then not looking. Sure I could focus while looking at a specific area and see lots, but the instant I stopped focusing I saw everything.

As I was amusing myself with this newfound view and enjoying the flutters of life all around me, I couldn’t help but see all of us in metaphor: What if we are all looking too intensely? What if we really are trying too hard?

What if everything we are meant to see is beautifully abuzz all around us, but we are looking too hard to see it all?

Could it All be Perfect?

I don’t know what led me to soften my focus that first time, but something beyond me knew and it just happened. Even more astounding is: the star characters in my field of view were thousands of butterflies that had just undergone the most massive metamorphosis in all of nature.

Each of those flutters in my field of vision had been tiny eggs that hatch into caterpillars. They wiggled around, munched on leaves and then turned to goop inside their chrysalises. Then the goop took form and emerged as beautiful monarchs: so light, playful, and full of life.

Isn’t that perfect? What a perfect place to be. More and more, with each moment and each day, I am realizing that everything is always perfect. How can it not be?

Then I see how those words could be interpreted indelicately. What if some people are in an utterly tough spot in life? How rude and uncaring is that for me to say that their pain and struggle is somehow perfect?

Recently a friend read a message I wrote on this subject and got pretty upset. This is understandable: I’ve experienced seriously rough spots in life too and if someone walked up to me in the midst of those times and told me what I was going through was perfect… I too might have felt like slapping them. That’s just not a nice thing to say to someone in a seemingly tough spot. Then again, from where I am now, I can look back and say “Yes, it was all perfect, even the times when it certainly seemed horrible.” Now I can clearly see the toughest times ran their course and eventually led to today… and today seems pretty perfect.

The Perfection of Goop

Lets consider the life of a caterpillar and this ‘perfect’ idea.

The caterpillar might not have thought it was ‘perfect’ to turn in to goop inside of a dark chrysalis. In the midst of turning in to goop, flying to Canada from Mexico would have seemed extremely laughable. Surely becoming a butterfly was also a massive impossibility.

Although, standing in the forest with the monarchs, it’s rather logical to see that turning into goop is actually quite perfect AND the caterpillar didn’t have to try: it just happened naturally. What if we can’t get life wrong? What if it is perfect, even when it seems everything is going wrong?

Bringing it all Together

What if all we have to do is stop trying so hard?

Instead of looking so intently, what might be possible when we soften our gaze and take in everything that is already there?

In those instances when we see everything, what if we then can see how perfect it all really is?

 

Even more: What if we are all metaphorical goop… and life is our chrysalis?

 

_____

A 1 minute 40 second video of our butterfly adventure:

Let’s See More Together

When I really considered the life that is possible for each of us individually, I realized one of the best ways to see this is together. There is so much more for each of us to see… so very much. The best part is: what’s available is right here already, we just haven’t seen it yet.

The human mind is a beautiful instrument that begs to be played by all of us. When we understand how our mind works and how life works, everything gets simple and amazingly beautiful. We come alive, just like the butterflies emerging from their chrysalis.

Let’s take a walk together.  I’ve got two one on one client openings available beginning in mid April. It just might be the perfect time to bloom. Curious? Contact me by email or phone and let’s see if this is the next best step for you.

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Coddiwompling is simple: So simple a puppy can do it, so simple a kid can do it, so simple that you can do it.

Ever notice the carefree contented nature of puppies and little kids? They are master Coddiwomplers. Puppies and little kids live their lives in the moment. They do what comes naturally and feels fun. No puppy ever chased a ball because he needed to get in shape. He chases a ball because its fun. Ever notice how little kids play? It’s random, often silly, and amusing. Ever notice how a little kid can be so upset one moment and giggling the next? Why might that be?

Puppies and little kids live in the moment, follow their inner guidance, do what feels natural, and don’t know how to judge.

What if we could all live like puppies and little kids? What if you already have?

We are all natural coddiwomplers. Truth is: we were born to do it. There’s not one adult alive who wasn’t once a little kid. We had to be taught how not to coddiwomple. Life hasn’t been the same since we’ve learned to ignore our instinct, judge ourselves and others, and make ourselves do things that we really don’t want to do. Coddiwompling is returning to who we really are.

Just yesterday a friend told me they could never coddiwomple. In that instant I realized he didn’t understand. Coddiwompling is the essence of who we are. We can’t help but coddiwomple, though most of us think our way out of following our instincts every day. Coddiwompling is living instinctively, living by the sense of knowing we all have inside.

A little kid doesn’t play to increase her hand-eye coordination; she plays because she enjoys playing. Although, her hand eye coordination surely improves through play. She grows up, starts a business (because that sounds fun), and then thinks she needs to follow a set of rules to grow a business. She trudges through the muddy waters of what others have done and what people say she must do to be successful. She’s just forgotten what it’s like to play.

What if she did things in business purely because she enjoyed doing those things? What if she stopped having to make tough decisions and went with her heart? This only sounds scary because we’ve been taught that this isn’t how things work. What if it is that simple? What if running a business had the same feeling and quality as a kid at play?

We all have a capacity for genius. Fun and creative ideas arise when we get out of our heads and really listen. When we let all judgement and constraining ideas of how it should be drift away, we are left with peace and knowing. This is the fertile soil for massive creativity and ingenuity. This is the simplicity of coddiwompling.

My friend thought coddiwompling was living all willy-nilly. Living haphazardly is not coddiwompling. Coddiwompling is not careless or chaotic. Coddiwompling is peaceful and simple. Coddiwompling is also very individual: what feels great for you, might not feel great for me.

Yesterday I also watched a master coddiwompler interact with her children. Her son has a birthday party next weekend. When we picked him up from school he was concerned about who to invite to his party. “Should I invite my whole class? …but I don’t want this person to come, and what if I do this….”  His brain was racing with what ifs and hows.

She asked him simply “Who do you want to come?” I could still hear all the chatter of his thinking and she could too. So she asked again “Who do you want to come?” He got quiet. He knew. We all know. It’s simple. We just have so much thinking about almost everything.

We     All     Know.

This is coddiwompling: following what we already deeply know. If everyone realized how simple life could be, how might that change the world?

 

 

Let’s Change the World

I have a feeling that everything will change…. everything. It has changed for me and it has changed for everyone that really gets this. This is so important that re-introducing people to Coddiwompling has become my mission in life. I want everyone to live their dreams. Imagine what the world would be like then.  It starts with you. It starts with each of us.

When I really considered the outcome, I realized one of the best ways to see this is together. So, for less than a pair of shoes or a nice dinner, you can join me and many fellow Coddiwomplers in a ten week exploration that will change everything.

We will meet an hour a week for ten weeks via live video conference (you can also join in by phone). You will also have lifetime access to all call recordings.

Check it out here: Coddiwomple Now Group Program

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Watching the dark waters of the Suwannee River turn shimmering orange as the sun rose over the cypress trees during Easter Sunday Sunrise Service is my first memory of church. There wasn’t a stop light in the tiny town, but there was a little church with long wooden pews. Grandma and Grandpa knew everyone and even though I only visited every month or so, they all knew me too. There was a special feeling there. It felt like love.

Not long after, I remember my dad having a talk with me before going to pre-kindergarten because the school was Baptist and we were Methodist. Baptists do some silly stuff and he wanted to be sure I wasn’t confused by the untrue things they might teach me. For a four year old, that talk seemed a bit confusing.

By the time I was eight or nine we joined a church where people danced in the aisle and prayed for me while touching my head and back and speaking in tongues. I didn’t want to go to church or be around those people, but could tell they really felt something special: Dancing in the aisles, hands up to the sky, eyes closed, and smiling wide. Simultaneously I wondered what they were feeling and thought they were nuts.

Within a couple years we changed churches again. I had one dress, it was pastel with flowers. I was already extremely self-conscious and each Sunday I prayed that no one noticed me or that dress. Besides the dress, my most vivid memory of religion in my early teen years was learning how to distract myself in such a way that the entire service became inaudible. I thought church sucked and God didn’t seem very helpful.

God graduated from ‘often not helpful’ to an unpleasant dictator when I was seventeen. I seriously injured my knee and couldn’t get home to take care of my aging dog. I found him almost lifeless the next morning. To say this dog meant everything to me was an understatement. As I was sobbing, hobbling, and carrying my best friend in to the vet’s office to finish killing him, I knew without a doubt that this all happened because I was bad and God was punishing me for my sins.

Welcome to my made up movie of life and what I thought God was all about.

Miraculously, in my sophomore year of college, I found home: God, love, friendship and a beautiful feeling like I’d never experienced before. Everything changed, Christianity finally resonated with me, and I didn’t have to dance in the aisle. What a win. In a rather short time I had many massive realizations about life and God which were very much Truth.

God and I began quite a journey together which was set in motion with distinct guidance into the career of my dreams at the age of twenty two. It was the first time I fully surrendered and experienced the ease of following my heart.

The Rest of the Journey

Beginning in my late twenties questions began arising. By thirty I began to drift away from Christianity. In my late thirties I found God again. Now I am stronger in my faith than I ever have been, but religious doctrine no longer makes sense to me. God is no longer a bearded man in the sky. “God” is three letters that make up a word that humans created to label the ineffable. What those three letters designate is a formless energy.

The following is my understanding and take on religion and God. In short, religions at their essence point towards truth and love. Realize I am open and curious and these are my current views. Consider being open and curious as well. Let’s see what we see.

God

In form, ‘God’ is all things and is nothing at the same time. God is synonymous with Allah, Love, The Universe, Father, Source, Wisdom, Mind, Creator, Spirit, Soul, Us… and on and on. Each is a metaphor and a word that is pointing to the same thing. Words are inadequate to describe the indescribable, but we can try.

Describing this energy is much like trying to describe what chocolate tastes like to someone that has never tasted chocolate. Honestly, the only way that person can truly understand what chocolate tastes like is to hand them a piece of chocolate.  After the creamy richness rolls over their taste buds they will know what that particular chocolate tastes like. Sure, tasting all the flavors of chocolate in the universe might be impossible, but at least they’d now have a personal and relatable experience of the indescribable.

This indescribable life force we call God is much the same. Each time you experience love and joy, you’ve experienced a flavor of God. Experiencing scenery that takes your breath away is another experience of God. Each time we know what to do without thought, that’s God too. God is in the sweetness of sadness as well. We are of God. God is truly everywhere and everything.

Jesus

Jesus was a beautiful man who understood and experienced God at a level most will never fully comprehend. Jesus wasn’t a special child of God though; God is in all of us and we are all special. Jesus is one of us; he does not live on a pedestal, though many have him on one in their minds. Jesus was unique in his understanding of life, love and the indescribable. Imagine the deepest love you’ve ever felt; now imagine feeling that way for everyone and everything. That is pure love, pure God. Jesus seemed to live in this space of pure love. The gift he had of living in that space is why he is special.

The Holy Books

The Bible, the Koran, and all others of the like are books of history and stories from a human’s point of view. In these great books, people speak in metaphor because what they are describing is indescribable otherwise. When we see what was written at its essence, what they are trying to point toward is Truth.

For example, It would be cool and all to live in the belly of a whale (and it makes for great Sunday school stories!), but no one actually ever did. The story of Jonah and the whale from the new testament of the bible was truly a story about a man who had a knowing that he was being called to do something. Jonah tried to overrule his knowing and go do something else. Suddenly there was a storm, Jonah fell out of a boat, and a whale slurped him up. When Johan was spit out three days later, he knew to follow his knowing.

No matter what we call the infinite creative force in the universe, we know that when we answer ‘The Call’ we come alive. When we go against our knowings, life can get rough, dark, and nasty… much like riding in the gastric juices of a whale’s belly during a storm. We truly can’t get it wrong, but why not go with our inclinations in the first place and skip being partially digested and spit out on to the beach in a pie of goo? See the sweet metaphor?

Each story in all of the great books can be seen in a similar way: metaphors and lessons for life; all pointing to the same infinite creative force in the universe, just with different forms.

Good and Evil

At their essence, religions around the world point to Truth and love. Man has also construed doctrine as a way to keep a tribe in check. A few weeks ago I had a nice, in depth discussion with two Christian missionaries in Greece. They shared, I shared, and it was pleasant.

One of the topics the missionaries and I spoke about was good and evil. They believe there is good and there is evil. My view is there is good and then there is just a misunderstanding which generates the appearance of the absence of good. A great metaphor for this is the “colors” black and white (in physics, neither are actual colors). The reason black and white aren’t actual colors is because they do not have wavelengths. White light is a combination of all the wavelengths of visible light. Black is the absence of light.

There are not evil people, there are sweet people trapped in evil thought. They are just living in the absence of their true essence much of the time. If we take people back to their true essence, there is such a beautiful feeling. Take a moment to remember the feeling of the purest love you have experienced… feel it now. Really, feel it. Take a moment to pause and do this.

Can you imagine being an ax murderer while in a feeling like this? Can you imagine stealing or being mean to someone while in that feeling? Shine the light and instantly there is no darkness.

Heaven and Hell

In the same sentiment as good and evil lives heaven and hell: If God is everything, where can hell be? The truth is that we are swimming in the pool of God, it’s just most of the time we don’t know it. We are caught up in our own personal minds. When we aren’t caught up and whirling away in thought it’s simple to see heaven and miracles every day everywhere.

Hell is a human construct and so is the idea of heaven being a place we must go to. The Universe (God) embraces us fully at all times (even right now). Do you know that you are God and you are Love? Death of our human body is often the point in time when we finally get to experience the feeling of love beyond what most can imagine. This is heaven. It is right here now; we just haven’t realized it yet.

Death (of the Form)

Death is a transition akin to birth. Death isn’t the thing that happens just before your period of great judgment by God. God is love. How can love judge?

At our untouchable core (our soul) we are beautiful, perfect, and more than ‘good enough’. We are love. We are the same energy as God. Our Human body is a beautiful vessel to come into and experience life. When our vessel stops working, we formlessly continue being a part of the ocean of everything which we never left.

In this ocean we are love and one with all. The misunderstanding is that in life we are separate. When we no longer have our body, the inevitable truth becomes more real. For a very special few (which most consider enlightened) death isn’t a transition, because they grasp the vast ocean which we all are while their bodies are alive. For the rest of us, death is a rebirth into the true essence of us; it is coming home. The beauty is we are always home every minute everywhere.

Forgiveness

Almost a year ago I had a massive realization that forgiveness does not exist. This understanding came from nowhere. It was not something I read about or was taught, instead it was a sudden deep knowing, a Truth. Love is at the heart of this understanding. When we are living in a space of pure and unconditional love, there is never anything to forgive. The moment we realize that we are all doing the best we can at all times, forgiveness becomes unnecessary. When we grasp that we all are an unbreakable diamond of love at our core: There is nothing anyone can do to hurt or harm the core of me (the same for you).

Forgiveness is a human construct: it is not needed and does not exist. There is nothing anyone can do that requires forgiveness from me or anyone else.

We have been taught that we must forgive. Even stranger, we are taught that we must ask for forgiveness from God. God is Love. The instant we get a taste of the purest sense of love, it is simply evident that man made up forgiveness because he didn’t know the depths of what is possible: an innocent mistake that has been passed on for thousands of years.

God is Love. We are Love. Love is God. In that, you and I are the same.

Can love forgive love? Can you forgive you?

Doctrine

Doctrine seems to me to be rules that man made up long ago to use this beautiful Source of energy to attempt to control people with fear. When we peel back the layers we can see the thread they are trying to point to- that is the Truth.

The closer we are to Source the less we are going to use rules. I have never felt so one with God. It’s so much better than what I was taught in Sunday School. Doctrine says God is a dude in the sky that needs to be asked for forgiveness of my sins and will punish me if I don’t do so. He will send me to the fiery “time out corner” for eternity if I don’t believe or if I worship any Gods other than him. That dude sounds a bit scary. That does not feel like love.

Judgement and Faith

Underneath all judgement, we are all the same. But judgement is something we are all guilty of. Fifteen years ago if someone would have said to me all of the things I have said to you in the words above, I would have thought they were lost and that they were going to hell if they did not see the light. I would have judged harshly. I would have thought that way because I had been conditioned to do so.

If no one had taught me the Christian doctrine, I would not have thought those things. If I had not been conditioned in that way, I would have been more open and curious. Now I live more and more by faith and I am continually more open to let what I’ve been taught fall away and let Truth reside in its place. Judgement cannot exist in love, though I still judge, but there is hope!

Openness and Curiosity

Openness and curiosity is the path that led me to discover my relationship with God. Now I live more and more by feeling and less and less by thinking. God does not speak in words. God’s language comes before words. God speaks in feeling. Interestingly, this God is the same God I learned about in Sunday School… just a bit purer.

Each religion points toward love and each of us knows God deep down. Notice the feeling and you’ll notice God.

Love in its purest form cannot be expressed in words. It is something that will never end and that there is and was no point of beginning. There is no distance that this love will not reach between: physicality does not matter. It is forever and always and everywhere.

Openness, curiosity and love are all we ever need.

 

 

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A few weeks ago I went on an awesome treetop adventure course, climbing, tightrope walking, and zip-lining more than sixty feet off the ground. To make it all the way through the course without falling required a combination of balance, strength and creativity. Fortunately for anyone who thought they lacked sufficient balance, strength, or creativity, we all wore a harness tethered to a safety cable that kept us from falling more than a few feet towards our untimely demise.

I had a great time, moving from obstacle to obstacle without giving one thought to my wellbeing. After completing the first section, one of the instructors asked me to come to the front of the line. I didn’t understand why and felt bad for “cutting in line”, but the enthusiastically sweet instructor welcomed me on to the second half of the course with a huge smile and said “Go have fun!” To my amazement the entire second half of the course was empty – wide open and waiting for me.

The instructor had noticed my comfort on the first half of the course and how much time I spent waiting for others to cautiously cross the obstacles. He set me free on the second half and seemed to enjoy watching me fly through almost as much as I enjoyed doing it, playing like a carefree kid.

What struck me as interesting to think about was how different this experience might have been if I had attempted it without a harness. Even though in the end I never fell or made use of any of the safety equipment, I suspect much of my attention probably would have been focused on not falling to my death and I most likely would have had a lot less fun.

Trusting the Equipment

Imagine yourself strolling down a narrow sidewalk without a care in the world. Now, imagine walking down that same narrow sidewalk 1,000 feet in the air. Notice the difference?

Many of the participants were tentative and clinging to the cables throughout the course instead of simply letting go and using their body to balance naturally. While watching them I thought: “Man, this would be so much easier for them if they trusted the equipment!”

Then just last week in Athens, Greece I had almost the opposite experience. While on a walk in a park I came across a beautiful towering tree that begged to be climbed. Its branches were broad and perfectly spaced all the way up to the top. Before I had time to think, the tree climbing kid inside of me was up amongst the branches. Like a monkey, I began easily climbing up. But the higher I got, the more worried thinking I had. In reality, the tree was just as simple to climb 35 feet up in the air as it was when I was only a few feet off the ground, but I began to think more and more about the “what ifs.” Just as I suspected when I was on the adventure course, without the safety equipment I began to worry more about falling than enjoying the experience.

Remember, when I did the adventure course I had the safety equipment, but never needed it. On the tree, I didn’t have any equipment. So while I had full confidence on the lower branches, I experienced significant unease on the higher ones.

Here’s the point:

It wasn’t the tree that caused me to experience the uneasiness; it was my imagination running wild. I was overthinking. The higher I got in the tree the heavier my thinking got, and as you can probably imagine that feeling wasn’t helpful at all.

To me the equivalent of “trusting the equipment” in life is an unconquerable faith in the future. What if we knew the universe always had our back?  Imagine having a celestial carabiner attached to the cable of life and no matter what happened you’d be safe. Sure, life throws us obstacles and challenges involving balance, strength and creativity. That’s just life. When we have an unconquerable faith in the future we can zip along through the course of life really enjoying the ride.

Until the next revolution…

 

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In the last week, the subject of “difficult” has come up several times in different contexts… here are some thoughts. I’d love to hear yours too! Leave your thoughts, ideas, or musings in the comments below.

Difficult…

Nothing can be difficult and everything can be difficult. The same situation (act, person, project, thing) can seem both difficult and not difficult at the same time depending on who declares the difficultness. Even more interestingly, the same situation can seem both difficult and not difficult within the same person depending on their mood. The idea of “difficult” lies within our own mind and thoughts.

Can Difficultness be a Litmus Test?

Some believe whether or not something seems difficult can be a sign whether or not the universe wants something to happen. If the idea of difficultness lies within our own thoughts, then it seems a litmus test based on difficultness is a house of cards built on shaky ground. For example, if we say: “This isn’t meant to happen because it’s difficult” we may miss the boat. If you know, You Know. What comes after the ‘because’ is irrelevant. Similarly, if we say “This is meant to be, because…” we are living the same hoax.

If we say: “If it gets difficult, I’ll just go,” we are only running away from the thought created reality we think is true. What if sometimes “difficult” is merely a feeling that precedes seeing a deeper understanding?

Belief & Thoughts, Knowing & Truth

‘Difficult’ rests in the land of the intellect and our thoughts. Whether or not a situation seems difficult is a belief, not a fact. A belief is not Truth. Let’s explore beliefs and Truths:

Thoughts and intellect are where beliefs manifest. Thoughts we think are true that stick around a while become beliefs. Beliefs are not fact, though in our own minds beliefs seem like fact. Beliefs only seem true until we see something different: Ask a four year old about Santa or the tooth fairy and then ask them years later. A child thinks Santa exist, so in his mind Santa does exist. Santa exists in his mind until the moment he thinks otherwise. The point is: Santa only existed in his thoughts. Santa never existed in the real world. Beliefs are only thoughts that stick around a while…

A Truth just Is. There is no explaining it. Truth is remarkably simple. The sweet amazingness of Knowing lives in the realm of Truth without thought. In this realm we discern not by words or thoughts but by Knowing, a deep feeling like no other.

Back to Difficultness

What if the thought of whether something was difficult or not was merely a function of our mood, what we’ve been taught, or which way the wind is blowing? For example, if you are an ok sailor: sailing is pretty easy if the wind is blowing in the right direction. If you don’t know how to sail, sailing is difficult no matter what the wind does. Depending on who you ask, sailing my rarely seem difficult no matter the conditions. The difficultness of sailing comes from a personal thought in the moment. Now, what if there is really nothing different between sailing and living life?

In life, difficultness is a marriage: a belief. That is all, plain and simple.

If it were a Truth that difficult is the precursor to knowing if something is worth doing: Man would not have walked on the moon, Mount Everest wouldn’t be climbed, and most babies would never be born. Consider that?

Thank God your Mom didn’t use ‘difficult’ as a litmus test! If that were the case…

 

Until the next revolution…

 

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It’s January and that means it’s time to clarify your goals and make your new year’s resolutions! …Right?

What if there is a simpler way to start off 2019 and REALLY enjoy the year ahead?

2018 was the first year in several decades that I had no concrete goals. Instead I vowed that I would first and foremost live by feeling (follow my heart and gut instincts), have fun, and not “work” on my business. What transpired was phenomenal: a year full of personal growth, extraordinary experiences, exploration, business growth, world travel, new friendships and deep connections. In my wildest dreams I could not have predicted what happened.

If you knew you could create really cool stuff this year and truly enjoy life while not having to set goals… would you be up for giving it a shot?

We’ve been taught that to be successful we must set and achieve goals. Society also tells us we need to be successful to be happy. Subsequently, it seems that happiness comes from our propensity to reach our goals. For example: If I make this much money then I’ll be happy; If I lose 25 pounds I’ll be happy (or the guy/girl will like me more and then I’ll be happy); If I get this job, then I’ll be happy. Sound familiar?

One of the snags with goal setting is it often becomes a perpetual game of leap frog. We sacrifice to chase the goal. When/if we achieve the goal we set more goals and sacrifice again. We leap frog our way towards burnout and a life spent being “busy.” I see so many people (and close friends) who claim to be busy all the time. It sure looks like they are busy being busy… busy in the pursuit of one day finally getting to the place where they can relax and be happy. In reality they are chasing a carrot that doesn’t exist.

Here’s a kicker: Whether or not we make or reach goals has no bearing on our happiness and wellbeing. If you have something really cool you’d like to create and purposefully head in that direction- awesome! On the contrary, if you are setting a goal because you think you should, there is much more to see.

Imagine how enjoyable life might be if you did what you really lit you up.

Just a few months ago I was reviewing my calendar from 2017 and actually cried. I worked so very hard. It’s mind-blowing how busy I was. Most of the time being busy was not fun. I forced myself to do things because I thought that was how to grow a business. The reason I cried when I reviewed my 2017 calendar is because I realize now that I missed out on many of the lovely things in life… I was doing the best I could in the midst of big misunderstanding about how life works.

Some of the misunderstandings I was living in were:

  • I thought I had to set goals that weren’t fun and achieve them to be successful and happy.
  • I thought my feelings and experiences were coming from my circumstances.
  • I didn’t see that my goals and my thinking were limiting me.

When we can clear ourselves of all that thinking, we begin to experience life in the now. Here (in the present) we are free of the burden and influence of our own personal thinking… free of our shoulds, confusions, and worry. This is where we naturally feel better and know what to do without even having to think about it. When we follow our innate wisdom (AKA: our heart, gut feeling, or instinct) the unimaginable happens and life simply lives us. Creativity abounds and really cool stuff shows up at our metaphorical doorstep.

When we begin to realize that we were born happy and wellbeing is our natural state, it becomes more and more obvious that creating goals that we think we have to achieve to be happy is a waste of time and energy. We become unshackled: We can do what we are naturally inclined to do and come alive!

“Ask not what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”  — Howard Thurman

When we grasp that goals can limit us, an entire world of possibilities opens up: Imagine yourself standing in the center of a compass rose. You look around and in every direction lies possibility. This is where we stand in every moment of life: right in the midst of possibility. When we try to predict our future by thinking we know how things are going to turn out, we are limiting ourselves. Future predicting takes our 360 degrees of possibility and narrows it down to a tiny slice of the pie. When we set a specific goal of what we want to be, do, or achieve we do the same: narrow our focus to only this outcome. We then tend to become blind to so many opportunities that come along. What might be possible if in every instance you were open to anything?

Here’s what happened when I began living more in the present and stopped “working hard,” doing what I thought I should do, and living inside so much limited thinking:

I had the most enjoyable year of my life by far. My clients saw so much more for themselves (and clients kept showing up in 2018 even though I wasn’t “trying” to get clients!) and my business income increased by over 20 percent. Remember, all this happened in a year I vowed not to work! More importantly: the entire world opened up for exploration, more friends were made this year than in the previous decade, I began experiencing life in an entirely new light, and others also opened up their own field of possibilities. All the while, I purely lived by instinct and heart.

2018 felt like an almost perpetual holiday…  My resolution now is to continue to intentionally see more and to continue having the most enjoyable year… year after year…  why not?

See what you see…

What feels really fun? If you could do anything, and create an entirely fresh and enjoyable new year’s resolution, what would it be?

 

 

…until the next revolution.

 


Now Enrolling for One-on-One Coaching

It’s no surprise that I’m a huge fan of coaching. My journey in 2018 would not have been possible without several coaches in my corner continuously pointing me towards Truth and a deeper understanding. Coaching has immensely transformed my life and this is the reason I have dedicated my life to coaching others in the same way. Here is a little bit about what coaching is and why it changes everything

If you are wondering how coaching can help you experience an even more amazing life and be wildly successful without the stress and pressure most people equate with success: now is a great time.

I have a few slots for complimentary coaching sessions in January. If you are interested in working with me on a one on one basis in 2019, let’s chat. Fill in your info here and I’ll get back to you shortly to arrange a time for us to talk. During the chat I’ll be glad to answer any questions and then we can set a time for your 90 minute complimentary coaching session.

 

 

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Twelve years ago at around 2:00am a couple of firefighters had just returned from a medical call. Only the clicking of the keyboard broke the silence of the early morning stillness in the fire station as the details of the call were being recorded in the medical report. Interrupting the clicking of the keys was a single sentence said with soft resolve: “I love souls…” I stopped typing and slowly turned toward Randy who was sitting next to me. He was now silently gazing back. I wondered if the lack of sleep was getting to him and equally wondered what he was talking about.

“I love souls. It doesn’t matter what body they are in…” Randy calmly stated.

It took me a moment to realize what he was saying. Randy was married and had a three year old son. He was one of my favorite guys at the fire department, although we rarely worked together and weren’t close friends. He was a newer firefighter: very kind, courteous, a hard worker and seemed to have his life together. We hadn’t talked about anything deeper than what to have for dinner or what we had done for fun recently. This conversation (that had so far consisted of three sentences) suddenly had a gentle significance. I turned away from the computer and gave him my full attention.

Randy continued on about how he loved souls. It was obvious that he loved souls in general: He was a kind and compassionate guy. What Randy was specifically referring to was romantically. He explained that sometimes the soul had female body and sometimes the soul had a male body, but that didn’t matter to him: he loved souls, not the cover. I listened with tender intention without saying a word. I can’t remember the rest of the conversation, but the seed of a deep friendship was planted early that morning in the silence of a quiet firehouse. He asked that the conversation be kept private and we said goodnight before retreating to rest while waiting for our next call.

Through or friendship and our working relationship I saw on a deeper and deeper level what Randy meant by “I love souls.” He loves, listens, and cares for whoever crossed his path. His home doubled as an animal shelter: he took care of and loved the furry friends that no one wanted. He brags on just about anyone- always seeing the best in people and connecting those that can help each other. He truly loves souls in such a unique way.

Fast forward several years later. Randy, now a single father raising his son, had just returned from a short vacation in Boston. He and I were in the kitchen of the firehouse cooking together. Randy was glowing and couldn’t wait to tell me about a guy he met in a bar in Boston. They had chatted for a while and exchanged information. There was a special bond and Randy went on and on… I thought it was cute and listened contently. Even though I didn’t burst his bubble, I really wanted to say “Randy, really? A random guy in a bar in Boston?? These things never work out.” I kept my thoughts to myself and listened as Randy seemingly floated around the kitchen.

Fast forward more than seven years after the conversation in the kitchen and well over a decade after the “I love souls” conversation. The scene: It is a crisp mid-October evening. We are at a beautiful vineyard in New Hampshire as the sun is beginning to set. The soft orange glow is creating an unbelievably rich postcard like back drop of fall colors. There are 150 of us sitting in simple white wooden chairs. There are close to 300 eyes welled with tears… beautiful love filled tears. There is a soft but silent focal point. We are all mesmerized by the most gorgeously touching wedding ceremony.

Randy is standing to the left struggling to read his vows through overflowing emotions; Kaiden, Randy’s son and best man (who is now fifteen years old), has tears of love streaming down his face; and across from Randy is Jon, the kind and handsome young man Randy met in the bar in Boston seven and a half years ago. The vows being exchanged are the most heartfelt and deeply touching vows imaginable: Such an example of adoration, profound friendship, and love.

Kaiden has two fathers and a rich family atmosphere that is helping him grow into one of the finest young men I have ever met. Jon is the father and husband he always dreamed of being. Randy not only has a loving, strong, and kind partner, he also has the huge loving family that he’s always wished for. The foundation of all of this is love… a love of souls.

What’s even more interesting is how Randy’s love of souls has permeated so many. The 150 of us sitting together in the crisp fall air were loving souls. We were loving Randy, Jon, Kaiden, and their families. We were in love with each other- all of the varied friends and family that had come together to celebrate love. There were people with a slight southern twang, Harvard doctors, military vets, scientists, gay couples, straight couples, single people of all kinds, and many varied races, religions, ages… None of that mattered. There was only love.

What a journey it has been to the vineyard. There have been tears of all kinds, struggles, laughter, friendships, and love… lots of love. Randy and I experienced lives that ebbed and flowed, continually crisscrossing in unique and beautiful ways. Over a decade early in the wee hours of the morning when Randy first shared “I love souls,” neither Randy nor I in our wildest dreams could have imagined sitting in that vineyard. But it happened… it all unfolded beautifully.

What if we all loved souls? Imagine the possibilities if we didn’t see the shape, color, religion, political affiliation, age, scars, or skin deep attractiveness of all of the souls we meet each day. What if we saw love and possibilities in everyone? What if we saw ourselves in everyone?

 

Let’s all love souls.

 

Until the next revolution…Love

 

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Bonus From our Sister Site: Coddiwomple Now

Featured Coddiwompler, Randy Kostelansky

Randy Coddiwompled his way from an average life in south Florida working as a firefighter to being one of the top up and coming doctors in Boston. In just two years he went from a single dad and student to happily married, running a thriving wellness center, and lecturing to doctors at Harvard. He truly UNpredicted his journey and the unimaginable happened. Check out his story!

Not long ago I was engaged in an argument that could have derailed many friendships. Thankfully it didn’t, but I did find myself boiling and swearing under my breath. Shortly after the argument (and while the disdain was still fresh) I began wondering how I could let myself get so aggravated… especially since intellectually I understand where my experiences come from. My experiences come from my feelings and my feelings come from my thoughts… it seems quite simple. Why was I so pissed when I knew better than to let myself get all up in a tizzy. Well, for starters, I’m human and I was living in some deeply aggravated and defensive thinking. I was very curious, but thinking about it sure wasn’t helping.

Then in a flash, suddenly I knew something… something I could not put into words but that changed everything. In that moment and even in the days and weeks following the realization I tried to explain what I knew, but I continuously fumbled. It was like trying to describe the color blue: it felt so simple, but attempting a description left me feeling like a bumbling idiot. The only thing that was clear was that something inside me knew it would be close to impossible to argue like that again… with anyone. If only I could share what I knew…

Weeks later a metaphor popped into my head and still remains my only explanation:

Let’s say you are sharing a walk with a friend on a beautiful day. You are casually strolling  along when suddenly out of left field comes a jab that seems to hit you right in the heart. A little perturbed, you shoot back a look that says: “really?” A few jabs are exchanged and things get a bit heated.

Interestingly there are now two sets of fencing armor and swords lying in a neat pile right at your feet. As if by habit you both suit up and go to battle! Swords clanging, feet moving, you are in a full out dog fight with the masked person. Blow for blow you fight. Clink! Clink! Clink! The sounds of battle drown out the rest of the world. With every swing of their sword, your anger heightens. “How can they do this to me?” you think. “Why can’t they see how wrong they are?” As tempers and swords flail they are thinking the same about you.

And Pause… Mid swing time freezes.

What might happen if you stopped fighting back? Would your adversary continue to attack? Maybe, or maybe not. If this is anything like the rage filled match I was in, it would be tough not to continue to battle.

Now consider this, what if you gently laid your sword down and began taking off your amour: First you take off the mask to reveal your humanness and lovingly gaze at your masked opponent. Though you can’t see their humanness, you know it is in there. This isn’t just a masked enemy, this is a beautiful being, a being with whom you are deeply connected. What if you continued to gently remove the rest of your armor and stood there in full vulnerability, unarmed, and open. What might happen?

Who might be seen?

It only takes one to keep the illusion from ever being reality again.

It only takes one glimpse of the Truth to see through the thought constructed battle and realize the obvious: when the mask is removed the true beauty is the moment of realization that the loving gaze staring back… is ourself."Why struggle to open a door between us when the whole wall is an illusion?"- Rumi

 

 

Until the next revolution…

 

 

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